


Hard Decisions

by Yaramaz



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Heavy Angst, Mentions of Cancer, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 20:32:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10906956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yaramaz/pseuds/Yaramaz
Summary: Five years ago, Lexa made a hard decision and left Clarke at the altar. Now, she comes home.What will happen when she meets Clarke again?





	Hard Decisions

The rays of sunlight filtered through cloud covered skies and the window curtains, glowing warmly over Clarke's face. A slight breeze blew into the room from an open window. Clarke slowly opened her eyes, blinking a few times. She started to rub her eyes to clear the sleep away. She stretched her arms out before slipping out of the bed.

Her room was huge and clean. There were her beautiful drawings hanging on the blue walls. Clarke's one of the goals was becoming a famous artist in the future and owning her own gallery. She was still young, and there was a long road ahead of her.

The art helped her to overcome life's roadblocks. It helped her to find her identity. She couldn't imagine her life without art.

But, the problem was Clarke hadn't drawn anything for months. She tried so hard to find inspiration, but she failed. Because she had lost her muse.

The muse named Lexa Woods.

The woman whom Clarke loved more than anything. The woman whom Clarke would sacrifice anything for. Shame, Lexa didn't love her back. Maybe she loved, but not as much as Clarke did.

Lexa had left her at the altar without saying anything else. Her betrayal hurt Clarke so much. It had been five years since the love of her life walked away from her. But, Clarke was still thinking about it. She had so many questions in her mind. Had Lexa ever loved her? Why did she leave her? What had changed her mind?

Maybe someday, they would meet again, and Clarke could ask these questions to her.

Clarke crossed to the bedside table and grabbed her mobile phone to check her text messages.

Rae [8:01] Hey Clarkey

Rae [8:01] I hope you haven't forgotten that we have to go to Lincoln's place today

Shit, Clarke actually forgot about that. Octavia's birthday was in two days, and they had agreed to help Lincoln to decorate the house for a surprise birthday party.

Clarkey [8:30] Of course, I haven't forgotten.

Clarkey [8:30] I'll be there at 7 p.m.

Clarke threw her phone in the bed, and made her way to the wardrobe. Two days ago, she had got a job at Arkadia cafe. Thanks to Octavia's mother, she was working as a barista even if she had no experience. Aurora was paying her a good price, and she was a really good person.

* * *

 

Lexa was dragging her suitcase behind her, the sound of shoes tapping against the stone floor of the corridor. It had been five years since Lexa left the town. She never expected to leave her home like that. She always thought she would move to New York with Clarke, and start a family. But, not everything went as planned. The life had forced her to make hard decisions. She was suffering the consequences.

She knew she wasn't the only one who was suffering.

Lexa stopped in front of her best friend's door. Her cheeks glowed with excitement and her face broke into a wide, beaming smile. She lifted her hand and knocked on the door several times. When she got no response, she knocked on the door harder. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing as she heard some groans coming from inside.

Unlike Lexa, Anya wasn't a morning person. She never understood the people who were waking up early in the mornings. Although Anya and Lexa were so different from each other, they were really good friends.

After a few minutes, Anya opened the door, muttering something under her breath.

"Lexa?!" Anya gasped, putting her hand over her mouth before pulling her best friend into a tight hug. She was sure she was crushing Lexa, but she didn't give a shit. After two years, her best friend was back in town. Of course, she had every right to be fucking happy.

"I've missed you, asshole," Anya mumbled, breaking the hug. Lexa had lost some weight, and her hair was shorter than before.

"I've missed you too," Lexa said, smiling softly at her best friend.

"Come in," Anya stepped back so Lexa could walk into the apartment. Anya's apartment hadn't changed since she left.

"Coffee?" Anya asked as the brunette sat on the couch. Lexa gave her a slight nod, leaning back in the couch.

"Nothing has changed," Lexa commented while Anya was making coffee for them. "I liked it."

"Yeah, everything's pretty same." Anya gave a cup of hot coffee to Lexa and sat beside her. They were drinking their coffee in silence.

"How's she?" Lexa finally broke the silence. Anya knew whom Lexa was talking about.

"She's okay," Anya took a long sip of her coffee.

"Does she still draw?" Lexa asked, turning to look at Anya.

"No, she doesn't drawianymore." Anya put the empty cup on the table. She heard Lexa sighing beside her.

"Then she's not okay." Lexa commented, slowly shaking her head. That was when Anya finally turned her head to look at Lexa.

"No, she's not. You've left her at the altar, Lexa." Anya reminded her. She was the only person who knew the reason why Lexa had left.

"You know why I ran away, Anya." Lexa said through gritted teeth, glaring at her best friend.

"I know, but-" Anya sighed, rubbed her forehead nervously. "You should've told her. She would understand."

"She wouldn't let me go if she knew I had a cancer!" Lexa had raised her voice rather higher than she had intended. She gulped forcefully, clenched her jaw. She had a cancer. Her situation was very bad. "The doctor told me I had very little chance of survival, Anya. I couldn't just stay here. I thought if she hated me she wouldn't be so sad when I died."

"You didn't die, Lexa." Anya said with a big smile on her face. "You're here with me."

"It was a miracle," Lexa commented quietly. The doctor hadn't believed that Lexa would survive. Her situation was very bad. She knew her death would destroy Clarke.

"Will she ever forgive me, An?" Lexa asked vulnerably, glancing at her best friend.

"You're asking a wrong person," Anya answered softly. She could see how devastated Lexa was. She would be more devastated when she found out that Clarke had moved on.

"All of them are probably mad at me," Anya knew Lexa was talking about Clarke's friends. They didn't know why Lexa had left. The only two people knew about this: Anya and Lincoln. If Lincoln hadn't told Octavia about this, there was no way they would know about Lexa's cancer.

"Listen, Octavia's birthday is in two days," Anya took a deep breath. "He's planning to make a surprise birthday party for her. He asked us to help him to decorate the house. You should come too."

"Will Clarke be there?" Lexa asked carefully. It would be very awkward if she was there as well.

"I don't know." Anya honestly answered.

"I can't come, Anya. It would make things awkward. They will be so angry when they see me."

"They will find out that you're in town, Lexa." Anya had a point, but it didn't convince Lexa.

"I can't."

"Whatever you want," Anya finally gave up. Her best friend was as stubborn as a damn mule. She grabbed the empty cup, and walked into the kitchen. After seconds, she came back with a piece of paper.

"This is the address of Lincoln's house. In case you change your mind."

* * *

 

The driver pulled up outside Lincoln's house. Clarke paid the driver and got out of the cab, walking over to the door. She rang the doorbell and waited. After a few rings, Lincoln finally opened the door. A smile appeared on his lips, he stepped back so Clarke could come in.

"Thanks for coming, Clarke." Lincoln thanked, and closed the door shut. Clarke heard a low mumbling coming from the living room.

"What are friends for?" Clarke gave him a soft smile. She walked into the living room, noticed everyone was there. She was the only one who was late.

"Finally," Raven murmured as Clarke took a seat next to her.

"Where's Finn?" Bellamy asked.

"He's busy today." Clarke simply answered. Bellamy slightly nodded his head, and didn't say anything. He never liked Finn. The truth was none of Clarke's friends liked Finn at all. But, Clarke didn't care. It was her life.

"Do you guys need anything?" Lincoln asked his friends.

"We need to talk, Lincoln." Anya slowly slipped out of the couch, walked closer to Lincoln. She grabbed his arm and guided him into the room.

* * *

 

"What's happening, Anya?" Lincoln asked nervously. Anya shut the door close, and diverted her attention to Lincoln.

"Lexa's back."

"What?" Lincoln was surprised and happy at the same time. His childhood friend was finally back. Of course, he was fucking happy. "How's she? Is she okay?"

"She looks much better," Anya smiled at him proudly. Her best friend had beat the cancer.

"Thank God," Lincoln whispered, let out a sigh of relief. It was the best news he ever had. "Where's she right now?"

"At my place," Anya shrugged with her shoulder. "I told her to come with me, but she refused."

"I will come to see her after they leave," Lincoln informed Anya and earned a nod from her.

"Let's go before they become suspicious," Anya walked out and made her way to the living room. A deep "V" formed between her brows when she noticed the nervous look on their faces.

"What's wrong?"

"Clarke left the house in a hurry." Jasper answered her question. "Raven went after her."

Had Clarke heard everything?

* * *

 

Clarke ran as fast as she could. She ignored her friends' calls. She ignored everything. Her heart was racing in her chest, but she didn't care.

Lexa was back.

The tears squeeze from her eyes, she finally stopped running. She didn't even know where to go. She didn't know what to do. She sat on the floor, trying to catch her breath. She needed to breathe.

Fuck you, Lexa.

Clarke put her hand over her chest, gulped air, but it stuck in her throat. She was losing control. She was going crazy.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She was very happy that finally someone decided to help her. She was so thankful.

"Focus on my voice," A woman murmured in Clarke's ear. The voice was familiar, but she couldn't tell who she was.

"Count my fingers, Clarke," Clarke noticed the woman was as scared as her. She sucked in a hard breath, tried to focus on the woman's hand.

"One," Clarke started counting. "Two,"

She relaxed, her breath came a little easier than before "Three," She was getting better. She was choking anymore. By the time she made it to ten, she was fully relaxed. She took a deep, shaky breath, and let it go.

"You're okay,"

Clarke froze. She knew whom this voice belonged. She slowly turned her head in the other woman's direction.

Years after, blue met green again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think. Leave a kudos or comment if you want me to continue :)


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